A boundary is a limit we establish for ourselves and others to allow us to build healthy relationships with them. This limit indicates what we are willing to accept or not as appropriate when others interact with us. Identifying and communicating boundaries is essential to convey our expectations to others. 

Boundaries keep people at arm’s length. Here the reference to the term arm is essential, as we may keep someone at a shorter arm distance, while for others, this distance is more prolonged. The essence communicated here is that we try to maintain balance, i.e., keep people around but not too close or far away (Popp, 1993). Some examples of healthy physical boundaries include respecting personal space, limiting physical touch, and honouring someone’s comfort level with physical intimacy. 

An individual creates personal boundaries to be respectful, safe and sound in mental health so that no one oversteps those limits. These boundaries amalgamate opinions, beliefs, attitudes, experiences, and social learning (Soghomonian, 2019). Various types of Personal Boundaries include:

• Physical Boundaries:

   Are related to personal space and touch. Healthy physical boundaries encompass an awareness of an individual of what is appropriate and what is not in differing situations and relationships – for instance, hugging, shaking hands, kissing and touching. Boundaries violate when someone invades personal space or inappropriately touches it.

• Intellectual Boundaries:

  Respecting the intention of others and giving them space to have an open discussion regarding appropriate topics highlights maintaining healthy academic boundaries. When someone dismisses or disregards another idea, opinions violate this boundary. 

• Emotional Boundaries:

  Are related to feelings and separate from others. Emotional Boundaries violate when someone criticizes or invalidates another sense and fuses emotions with that of another. 

• Material Boundaries: 

  Healthy material boundaries characterize setting limits for what one will share, with whom, and in what capacity. Boundaries violate when someone forces to share something, steal, or damage possessions. 

• Time and Energy Boundaries: 

  Are related to how one utilizes time. Following a schedule and giving time to all facets of life, such as self, marriage, work, family, and friends, indicate healthy boundaries. However, boundaries violate when someone expects too much time and energy beyond the capacity or limits of a person.

• Sexual Boundaries:

   Healthy sexual boundaries involve understanding and respecting the desires and inhibitions of the sexual partners. 

Boundaries and Consent:

Boundaries are closely associated with consent and are the right of a person to say yes or no to any act or sharing of information, time, and material. It is about the comfort of the other and giving the other person a choice to say no. Therefore, It needs to ask beforehand. The individual has to understand what the other person agrees or consents to and how much. When we set boundaries for ourselves, we should also give the other person the space to set boundaries. Along with giving them space, we need to respect their boundaries and ask for their consent when surpassing their specified limits. 

Advantages of Having Healthy Boundaries:

Maintaining healthy boundaries leads to advantages such as mental and emotional health, a developed sense of identity and autonomy, and avoiding burnout (Selva, 2021). However, deficient boundaries can result in loss of respect from self and others, increased chaos, distraction, guilt, loss of interest in life, over-enmeshment, detachment, and victimization. 

By setting and adhering to boundaries, both individuals can feel secure and self-assured within the relationship. It also works towards averting codependency, resentment, and discord. Healthy boundaries allow each partner to maintain their individuality and personal space while still feeling connected and supported by their significant other. Promoting healthy boundaries in a relationship can lead to a more gratifying and fulfilling experience for both partners.

Setting healthy boundaries means identifying the need to establish, define, communicate and enforce them. It helps us to relate what is okay with us and what is not. It also distinguishes between “me and you”. Forming boundaries enables us to take care of ourselves by giving us the liberty to do, say, or indulge in things in our capacity and not forcing us to take everything on. It is essential not to cross boundaries to have a healthy relationship.

Having personal boundaries is crucial for developing satisfying and healthy relationships. A person must clearly and directly communicate boundaries and prioritize their well-being. Remember that a person does not need to apologize for setting boundaries; creating relationships that honour needs might require much effort and perseverance.

It is crucial to listen to their emotions and intuition. If a person experience discomfort, disrespect, or a constant disregard for their needs, this could be a sign that person crossed boundaries. Take some time to contemplate feelings and express concerns with others. Remember, a person has the right to have limitations that must be respectful in every healthy relationship. 

Setting healthy emotional boundaries can prevent codependency in a relationship by establishing clear expectations and limits. When individuals in a relationship have a strong sense of self and know what they need to feel emotionally balanced, they are less likely to rely on their partner to fulfil their needs. It can prevent the development of a codependent dynamic, where one person becomes overly reliant on the other for validation, support, or a sense of identity. 

Drawbacks of Lacking Boundaries in Relationships:

When a relationship has no clear boundaries, individuals may feel like their needs and desires are not being acknowledged or respected. One of the most significant drawbacks of lacking boundaries in a relationship is that it can lead to many misunderstandings, resentment, anger and hurt feelings. When there are no clear lines of communication or expectations set, it is easy for one person to overstep their bounds without even realizing it. Establishing healthy boundaries early on in a relationship is essential to avoid these types of problems down the line – each person’s needs while preventing potential misunderstandings or conflicts. Without boundaries, a relationship can quickly become overwhelming and chaotic, leading to feelings of resentment, frustration, and even emotional burnout. 

A person must establish and respect boundaries to create a safe space to express emotions and needs to lead a healthier life and have meaningful relationships. Remember, it is okay to prioritize well-being and personal goals. Boundaries can strengthen relationships and help navigate challenges more effectively. So set boundaries and communicate them openly with others.

How to Recognize Boundaries Are Violated?

Setting boundaries in a relationship can sometimes lead to conflict or tension between partners. However, it is essential to remember that healthy relationships require mutual respect and understanding of each other’s needs and boundaries. If a person is unwilling to respect boundaries, it may be a sign of a deeper issue that requires addressing. A person can approach Dr Nisha Khanna to learn how to deal with mental health concerns by booking an appointment at +91-9818211474